Huron-Perth Centre - PARENTING TIPS: WHEN CHILDREN WITNESS ABUSE IN THEIR OWN HOMES

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Children need to feel loved, accepted, and safe in their families. This means that living in a home where there is no violence is better for them than living in a home where violence may erupt at any time. Children try to make sense out of what happens in the world, to believe there is a reason for what happens.

This may lead them believe that the victim "asks for" or in some way deserves the physical or emotional abuse.
They may think the abuse is their fault.
They may feel guilty that they cannot help the victim or stop the violence.
They may take the side of the perpetrator because they feel safer on the side, which seems most powerful.
Be clear with them that no one deserves physical or emotional abuse, and that it is up to the adults in their lives to stop it.

Effects of violence on children
Young children may experience bed-wetting, clinging, whining behaviour or resist going to bed. They may complain of frequent stomach upsets or headaches.

School-age children may have trouble concentrating at school and/or become aggressive on the playground or at home. They may also become withdrawn, too eager to please, or overly responsible (especially the eldest child).

Teens may run away from home or cope with their anxiety and fear by using alcohol and other drugs.

These children have a greater tendency to be abused themselves, to have adjustment problems, and to continue the cycle of violence (as abusers or victims) in their adult relationships.

Children need you to let them know that abuse is wrong and that you will not put up with it. By standing up for your rights, you show them that no one has the right to abuse another person. People are responsible for their own behaviour and actions, no matter what the outside influences are. Violence is learned behaviour.

It is very important for children from violent homes to receive support and counselling.

Huron-Perth Centre, Box 100 Clinton ON N0M 1L0