Huron-Perth Centre - PARENTING TIPS: BEHAVIOUR MANAGEMENT: THE PRINCIPLES OF DISCIPLINE

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CMHO

Discipline leads to coping…coping leads to mastery…mastery builds self-esteem.
It is important to teach your children to curb their behaviour so that they can learn self-control. Everyone needs to learn tolerance for things which don't go their way.

Through appropriate discipline a

child
gradually learns to master tedium, anxiety, disappointment and anger. Children who lag in this adaptive growth are in danger of becoming pleasure-bound, pain-avoidant adults. They can become the short-tempered, impulsive people who have trouble sustaining interpersonal and work relationships. Children learn patience and self-control by waiting a reasonable time for what they want, and by having appropriate limits set.

Principle # 1 Set clear and reasonable expectations: spell these out for the child: stick to them.
In deciding on expectations, think in terms of what children must do and what you wish they would do. Children must get dressed, brush their teeth, and go to school. The things you wish they would do are things such as wash their faces properly, comb their hair, clean their rooms, hang up their coats, help out in the kitchen.

Principle # 2 Set a time limit: turn parent-discipline into self-discipline.
If you don't set a time limit, then you will likely hear "But I was just going to do it." and you will end up nagging to get it done. Nagging only teaches children to ignore your words.

Principle # 3 Supervise the task performance.
If the time limit is up and the task is incomplete, supervise its completion. Appear cool and calm.

Principle # 4 Apply a consequence for failure to complete the task and/or for the necessity of supervision in order to complete it. Application of a consequence says to children that they are children and you are the parent. A mild consequence communicates the same message as a severe one. Rewards are not the opposite of consequences, but they can serve to increase the likelihood of appropriate behaviour by giving children something desirable to work toward and can be used effectively in conjunction with consequences.

Like more information? Ask your counsellor for a more detailed description of the discipline principles of Thomas Millar.

Huron-Perth Centre, Box 100 Clinton ON N0M 1L0