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Divorce and separation are difficult for everyone, no matter what the circumstances. At a time
when parents are going through their own time of loss and sorrow, so too are their children. At a time when conflict between two parents may be at a high point, they are called upon to
keep the conflict away from their children as much as possible. When everyone's energies may be at their lowest, children need the support of their parents more than ever.
With this reality in mind parents may find the following do's and don'ts helpful.
Do let the children know what's going on,
but don't burden them with
unnecessary information.
Don't put children in the middle - carrying notes, messages, reporting on the activities of the other parent.
Don't ask children to choose sides in parents' disputes or to choose one parent over another.
Don't ask children to keep secrets from your ex.
Don't compete with your ex for your children's love or affection. Children need to feel free to love both parents in their own way.
Do keep your commitments to your children: do have a predictable visiting schedule: don't make promises that can't be kept: do arrive on
time.
Do try and understand that sometimes children have other things to do besides visit with their parents.
Do keep pick ups and transfers free of conflict. This is not the time for arguments.
Do try and talk with your ex at least once a month, without arguing, about the children and their needs.
Do refer to your ex-partner with respect - always.
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