Huron-Perth Centre - PARENTING TIPS: POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE FEEDBACK

Upcoming Events

Index of Articles | Web Resources |

CMHO

Giving Positive Feedback

To give children feedback, which builds self-esteem, keep the following in mind.

1. Praise should be given for each of the four areas of the child's life - social, (relationships with others), competence, (performance at school), physical, (appearance, athletic ability), and character (ability to act with courage or according to values like honesty, fairness, generosity; kindness…).

2. Praise should identify a real strength, and should be repeated.

3. Praise should be given or repeated at times to others - friends, family teachers, etc.

Being told general things like "You're wonderful!", You're great!" does not have a lasting effect on a child's self-esteem. They need to hear specific comments and praise on things they do well, like "I'm proud of the way you worked today.", or "I liked the way you shared your toys when your friend came over."

Giving Negative Feedback

Sometimes it is necessary to point out weaknesses, mistakes, or faults. In fact it is your job as a parent to do so. Try to keep in mind the following points when you have to correct or give some criticism.

1. Remember, your child is probably doing most of what is expected. Whatever the mistake is, it doesn't wipe out all the OK things the child does.

2. Don't give negative feedback when you are furious or upset. If you do, the strength of your emotion may give the message that "you're a rotten kid, period!!"

3. Be clear about exactly what behaviour you are criticizing, and discuss only that. Don't add in other things the child has done. Keep to the point.

4. End the conversation with some encouraging comment such as "I'm sure you'll do better next time." or "I want you to work hard to correct the problem."

The ratio of positive to negative feedback from you to your child should be at least 2 to 1: 2 positive for every negative.

Huron-Perth Centre, Box 100 Clinton ON N0M 1L0