Huron-Perth Centre - PARENTING TIPS: MAKING EFFECTIVE REQUESTS

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CMHO

Time and Energy:
Make sure you have the time and energy to follow through with your request. If you are tired or pressed for time, wait for a better time.

Face to Face:
Make the request at arm's length from the child and maintain eye contact.

Be Specific:
"Pick up your toys and put them on the shelves" instead of "Clean your room".

Limit the number of requests:

Make only one or two requests at a time.

Be brief:
And keep it simple.

Make requests at appropriate times:
Asking your child to pick up toys before getting ready to go out can increase compliance.

Be positive:
Make start requests instead of stop. "It's time to start picking up your toys." instead of "It's time to stop playing Nintendo."

Use statements instead of questions:
"It's time to pick up your toys." instead of "Are you going to pick up your toys?"

Be pleasant, appear calm and be committed to following through:
Decide on an appropriate consequence ahead of time. Follow-through will be easier.

Establish the terms of completion of the request:
Establish with the child whether the request is to be completed now or in a specified time period. Be clear about what is expected if the request is not fulfilled. Be specific about the consequence. It should be minor, related to the offence and immediate where possible.

Monitor:
Observe if the task is completed - if so - reward the child with your approval. If the child does not comply, remind the child of the agreement and restate the request. If the child continues to be non-compliant, give the consequence. If children see that their parents are not following up, they will probably not comply. Children learn to be co-operative and responsible because their parents praise their success and monitor their behaviour.

Huron-Perth Centre, Box 100 Clinton ON N0M 1L0